Let's Talk About Coercion ~

I have seen a lot of bashing going on against Christianna Maldonado. It bothers me, I have to admit that, it bothers me a lot. Given the amount of coercion that goes on in adoption today, I am willing to bet that CM has faced some of the worst the industry has to offer on that score.

Take a look at this post by Cassi:

http://www.adoption-truth.com/2012/03/coercion-not-choice.html

Also this from Origins America and Origins Canada:

http://www.originscanada.org/adoption-practices/adoption-coercion/adoption-coercion-checklist/




"Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

 You were told you that you were unfit to be a mother because you were ‘unwed’.

 You were told that you would be inadequate as a mother.

 You were told that keeping your baby would be selfish.

 You were forced to draw up a list comparing what you could give to your baby with what adopters could give.

 It was stressed to you that your baby “needed a two-parent family.”

 It was stressed to you that the needs of your baby came before your own needs and that you could not fulfill your baby’s needs.

 The doctor who delivered your baby told you that you must sign-over your baby to him for adoption. (Did you later find out that the baby was adopted by friends of the doctor?)

 You were told that if you did not surrender your baby, that your baby would be put into foster care until you did sign.

 You are told that surrendering your baby is an expression of how much you love your baby (message: if you keep your baby then you don’t love your baby).

 You are told that adoption is “thinking about what is best for your baby.” (message: adoption is best for your baby).

 You are told that adoption is “putting your baby’s needs first.” (i.e., before your own needs. Message: your baby does not need you.)"

Let these things sink in, and really think about them. Now I am not saying CM was subjected to any, or all of these, but I am willing to bet she was coerced in ways both large, and small. So many of us were, and so many are still being coerced. I am not saying that CM did not do the things she has done in order to "get back" at Dusten Brown. But, I am saying that we need to give her the benefit of the doubt. We do not know, and we can not know what has gone on between her and the Capobianco's, and the agency, and the lawyers. I was coerced into surrender, I was told lie after lie, and threatened, until finally I literally had no choice and I gave in. I surrendered to the machine that un-mothered me. I have to wonder what was done to CM in order to gain her compliance in not only this adoption, but in the filing of a lawsuit against the ICWA.

 I have to wonder exactly what has been said to this young woman behind closed doors, and if she is like so many "walking on eggshells" in order to preserve and semblance of an open adoption with her daughter. (yes, her daughter, as well as Dusten's) I wish I could get inside her head, and know what she is thinking as all of this unfolds. I wish a natural mother could speak to her, (I would do it in a heartbeat) and tell her she is not alone. That she does not have to sit in silence and accept whatever has been going on as gospel and her only truth. I wish I could tell her that she has many women who have been in her shoes that are willing to help her, and support her is she so chooses.

 I wish more than anything that those voices who purport to be speaking for her would kindly sit down and have a nice big cup of Shut The Frak Up. You do not get to speak for mother's of loss, you do not get to put words in our mouths, and you certainly do not get to speak for the children we have lost. If you really want to know what adoption is, what it does to both mothers, father's and children then listen to our voices. DO not seek to speak for us, do not seek to silence us, rather listen to us, truly and without interrupting, or speaking over us, just listen... mayhaps then you will learn what a horror modern infant adoption in this country truly is. How it is inherently coercive and unethical, and immoral.  

http://www.originsamerica.org/adoption-coercion/