Why do the men who father our children all seem to lie at some point? Whether it is during our relationship, or after they lie. Sometimes it is years later that the lies come, but usually it is a combination of both. I mean really what is the motivation for lying years and years later? It bothers me to no end some nights.
Lies told to the self in order to absolve themselves of their guilt? Or lies told to others to keep some things secret? Does it really matter? I suppose to me it does and does not. I know the truth so why should it bother me? Why because other people are involved, and hurt by those same self serving lies. Yes self serving, told in order to protect a new realtionship or told to protect the image the person have of themselves. Lies are something that can take on a life of their own, they can come back to haunt you years after you tell them. I learned a long time ago, lies always make things worse than they ever had to be. So many lies I actually had to look at them in writing to go, nope not true to each one I read.
Lie: I had a friend tell her I was in jail so she wouldn't try to contact me anymore, I was sick of being asked for money.
Truth: I told him I was pregnant, he said "Ok, we'll get married but first I want a blood test" I never talked to him again, or saw him again. I talked to him once she was almost old enough to start looking but up until she found me that was the one and only contact between us since the night I told him I was pregnant. The next time we spoke was two days after she found me. So twice I spoke to him in 22 years. (well almost 22 years a little shy of that cos pregnanct only lasts 40 weeks)
Lie: Her mother sent her to her dads in Illinois, so she would be able to get more child support out of me.
Truth: I told my mother I was pregnant in the middle of Mall while we were Christmas shopping three weeks before she was born. I lived at home the entire pregnancy.
And that is only two of the lies I know about. Is it any wonder that I wonder? I don't really care anymore what he tells himself or tells others. I know the truth, and that is what matters. But, I also think he owes the truth to at the very least one other person, and perhaps to two. I think perhaps he tells himself these things so he can sleep at night, so that he can justify his actions to himself and perhaps to one other person. It makes me sad, it truly does, he deserves to know and remember the whole truth. Even if it makes him feel like he did something bad, he should know and remember it and he should also remember that the time we lived in was as much at fault as he was.
