As I sit on the Board of Directors of Orgins USA I am proud to post this and I urge all of you who blog to do the same..
November is National Adoption BEWAREness Month
From my friends at OriginsUSA:
Some "celebrate" National Adoption Awareness Month in November.
Adoption, however is not a "win-win" for all. For every family added to by adoption, another experiences an irrevocable and painful loss.
OriginsUSA, an organization dedicated to Natural Family Preservation and justice for families seperated by adoption, cannot "celebrate" adoption as a "positive way to build families."
For members of OriginsUSA, November is a time to call attention to the need to prevent unnecessary adoptions by providing families in need the resources they need to remain intact.
We thus declare November as National Adoption BEWAREness Month.
BEWARE of claims that surrendering a child to adoption is noble or selfish or best; that it will guarantee your child a "better life" or afford you an opportunity for a better life.
BEWARE of those who tell you that adopting a child is "the same as if" you gave birth.
BEWARE of those who tell you that your child will go to a "forever family" as the national divorce statistics hold true in adoptive families as well, and a high percentage of children are victims of "failed adoptions", a phrase the industry coined to cover children returned to the agencies.
BEWARE of those who speak of your current situation as reason to surrender your child to adoption. You will get older, you can get work, colleges are full of non-traditional students, and your current situation is temporary, but loss to adoption is forever.
During this month, on November 10th, we will participate in Reg Day to bring awareness to the loss suffered those adopted by the denial of their truth with the issuance of a false birth certificate.
The month will culminate on November 31 with Strange and Mournful Day! Wear your Strange and Mournful Day ribbon on that day and throughout the year, to recognize the sadness of mothers losing their children to adoption.
Using a phrase taken from the "Mother and Child Reunion" by Paul Simon, the name of the occasion is intended to stress both the unnatural (strange) nature of adoption separation and the accompanying "mournful" grief.
2 comments:
I had a dear friend several years ago (in his 50's), and he found out one of his daughters were pregnant. He immediately said, "I want you to talk to her about adoption!"
This girl was in her twenties. She had everything - EVERYTHING - she needed to parent a child successfully. However, she was a bit of the black sheep of the family, and he wanted to see her "go farther" and "follow her dreams." OH, not to mention that she wanted her baby!
Inside I was jumping up and down, screaming at him and slapping some sense into him! I just looked at him and said, "Every mother's dream is to raise her child. So, you need to get on board, or keep your mouth shut until you're ready to do so."
He finally got it. It's weird how separated even a grandparent can be in a situation like that.
I push my agency on people ALL.THE.TIME. I thought they were all like Buckner. I was painfully wrong. My agency looks at couples and declares, "Your money does not go to pay for your adoption. Your money is a pool of ministry. Every woman that we see is counseled on how they can parent FIRST! Most of them walk out the door and go on to raise their children. Your money helps to pay for time and effort that we give every single woman, if it takes a day, or if they make the choice to parent in the hospital." If you didn't like that approach, then you could just move along.
As you can imagine, after discovering that our agency was more of an anomaly, I was PAINFULLY disheartened as I learned more about more about the first moms and dads out there that have been coerced or threatened in relinquishment ... and even then, into tightly closed adoptions!
Pisses me off.
Sorry - I'm just blabbering! Thanks for commenting on my blog!
Christine, your ramble made perfect sense to me! I wish to god that all agencies were like that, sadly they aren't.. Look forward to reading more of you!
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